Since it's raining, cold and windy out, not that inclement weather could stop any of you, I'll tell you a story about a recent spin class I attended. I emailed this little ditty to Diana, she thought it was highly amusing.
David and I went to a spin class class a few weeks ago and while we were walking in I crossed paths with 'Uber Bike Guy', you all know the type from somewhere, all outfitted up in his sponsored neon yellow cycle togs, bike top with 30 little pockets all around, short little pants, shaved legs (white shaved legs are the worst) and worst of all: attitude, like 'watch out for me people, I'm gonna kick some ass'. Really, I could feel it wafting off him and the outfit? WTF? If he'd of had a bike helmet I wouldn't have been surprised. Anyway, we start the class in FULL LIGHT which sucks, lots of spin classes are conducted in dark or very low light rooms-for a reason-Uber Bike Dude is sitting directly in front of me, like my eyes were looking right at him so I had to look! I'm very distracted by my annoyance but I'm cruising along when 10 minutes into the class, Uber Bike Guy whips out a Power gel pack from his little bike blouse pocket, tears the top off with his teeth, spits the wrapper on the floor Clint Eastwood style and shoots it like an oyster! Dude, really? What, are we not in the 24 hour gym but really in Tour De France? 10 minutes? Puleeze. So I'm thinking all of these mean things and the stand up drills begin when I see that Uber Bike Guy has a split in the seam of his little yellow pants, right in the middle, every time he stands up that little split shows his crack and of course he has no unders on because that's the way we do in the Tour , baby. Now we are reaching comical territory, I cannot stand up for the evil snickering.
Finally, I brave a look in the giant, wall to wall mirrors at the front of the class and I see that UBG has his bike blouse unzipped all the way down to his waist, exposing his white shaved chest and torso. You have got to be kidding me. It was horrifying and there should be rules. I turn to look at Dave who is right next to me but he's nearing cardiac arrest and can't listen to my comments or laugh with me. I don't even remember a thing about the class or the workout, all I recall is Uber Bike Guy but I do know I'll never go back to that class.
There are a couple of lessons here: check your pants before going out and don't ever workout with me, I'll make it a story.
Miss and love you all!
LFTC-out
LMAO! Too funny!
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