Mad Max drives a Subaru

I wanted to tell you guys about the start of my Kauai trip, namely, the drive to LAX. Our flight was scheduled for 1pm, David likes to arrive early so we can wait in the airport for two hours before the plane leaves so we had to be on the road at 9am. 9:30 I am ready and we hit the 78 West where Dave drives his usual 55mph in the fast lane. Since I’m busy checking my stuff, papers, lipstick, max. strength Ibuprofen, etc., I can’t backseat drive and we cruise along. Now we are on the 5 North and the fun begins. David is nervous about hitting LA traffic so he decides to make up some time by driving 90 in the middle lane, weaving in and out of traffic, which is very light, swerving, swearing, bobbing his head around like a bobble head and my back seat driving hits hard. Slow down! Stop doing that! Look out! What the fuck are you doing? And why? (Ali has her DSI headphones in her ears so mommy can swear) David is truly believing that he is Mad Max and I swear to you that he told me that he was driving like he was because (ready?) he was worried that ‘we’d be run off the road’. RUN OFF THE ROAD? WHAT? On the 5? In a Subaru? Um, when has this ever happened in our four decades on earth? This was a heavily debated topic and reminded me of Dianadarling wanting to climb a chain link fence at the La Jolla Beach and Tennis club while wearing Speedos on our ‘Escape the Waves’ adventure a few months ago in that it's just not gonna happen. It was however,lively and entertaining fun. And hilarious. It was then about 10am. I should mention that we are driving Dave’s Subaru, AKA the chickmobile, so I’m already grossed out by the dirt factor, tools clinking like mad in the back, diesel fumes from his equipment, rope coils on the floor boards and untinted windows (barbarian conditions) when the check engine light pops on to freak me out. Normally Dave would be very worried but not this time, not in Mad Max mode so we cruise on despite my protests and somehow, we made it. Yes, we made it to our car park destination, some dark, cold, industrial area that was so like a scene in Mad Max: barren, hard, strange bearded thugs tooling around with menacing faces. Some crying may have occurred here but I try to forget the small details. We end up in LAX to fly ‘Misery Airlines’ and begin our wait. Fun times, people! (Misery Airlines motto is ‘we know you’re miserable, we don’t care so STFU and sit down)
Later I will tell you about our hotel ‘The Ragged Flag’ (aptly named by Ali) and some of our more thrilling adventures, like our visit to Fort Elizabeth where serial killers hold their meetings and our kayak trip down the Wailua river where David dumped my kayak in mud so deep and thick that it actually sucked my left Keen right off my foot. I got it back because these are Keens I’m talking about and no river is strong enough to keep good shoes from a woman.
It was all so much fun! Really, I did have a blast and I wanted to share some of the fun with you...